Monday, May 16, 2005

For the Trekkies Among Us

From Star Wars to Star Trek.

James Lileks, on the last "Enterprise":

"I watched Voyager, I defended it, I thought it found its legs eventually and did some nice work. But it had a crippling problem: boring characters who never changed. It had a boring relationship – modern Trek is generally incapable of portraying romance, and the relationship between Hotheaded Devil-May-Care Tom Paris and sullen, sour, uber-bitchy half-Klingon W’hatzrname was never believable. Who would put up with her crap for a day, let alone get married to her six years into an 80 year voyage? Voted Most Likely To Be Found Trussed And Gagged in a Jeffries Tube at the Academy, that one."

"'Deep Space Nine' was everything the nerds and geeks say they want from TV sci-fi, but oh, how they picked the nits. Half the fanbase peeled off during DS9, because it didn’t have with Patrick Stewart screwing up his shiny mug and saying “Engage” in his patented stentorian baritone. "

"Next Generation has many “classic” moments, but so much drearily earnest tripe – and in retrospect the Federation looks so weak and touchy-feely it’s a wonder the Romulans didn’t just knock them over for target practice. Bad romance: Worf and Troi? The big mean feral warrior and the ship’s shrink? I NEED TO MATE. IT IS MY TIME. Worf, I sense you are feeling stress. I HAVE MANIFESTED THE SWORD OF KAHLISS IN MY LOWER UNIFORM. I AM . . . CONFINED. Let’s have some tea and discuss this. YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND. MY PHOTON TORPEDO IS READY FOR THE LAUNCHING TUBE. Sit, you silly fellow! Right here. Mind the flowers. I DO NOT KNOW HOW MUCH LONGER I CAN USE ANALOGIES TO DESCRIBE MY CONDITION. Well, if you have to get back to work, fine, but drop by later and we can talk. Worf! Put that away! Ick! "

1 Comments:

At 6:22 PM, Blogger The Niem said...

Thank you. Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Hee hee hee hee hee.

 

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