A Movie Review (... kind of)

Alright, I admit. I haven't seen the movie. No one has. It doesn't come out until May 19th. This may be one of the most anticipated works of idiocy this year. And I'll still go see it with a gabillion other people, some dressed like ewoks, storm troopers, and hobbits (for those who think the thriftiness of reusing their Lord of the Rings costume for this premiere is a virtue).

I am speaking of Star Wars Revenge of the Sith. I don't mean to sound critical because I really will go see it even though I'm not optimistic about Lucas after he tried to convince the world that we should be entertained by JarJar or JibJar or whatever the hell that leach was. I understand that he's lost touch with the human emotion in his isolated Skywalker Ranch that he has forgotten is still part of planet earth.

While all this is very fascinating and I am deeply curious to find out how Chewbacca's hair regeneration treatments went so horribly awry, there is another story that I am much more interested in: the story of a few fans who have shown the world they are committed, that they are loyal, and that they are idiots...

It seems that some of the fans have begun to line up in front of the historic Chinese theater to wait for the premier. The premier that is over a month away. That's not the problem though... the problem is that the studio has decided not to show the film at the Chinese theater and opted instead for another theater about a mile away.

Some people have left while 11 or so have decided to remain and wait it out... Wait what out?!? What are you waiting to see on May 19th, people? I've checked the calendar -- Big Bucket Head's: The Warehouse comes out that week but I don't know how much promise that has.

One longtime idiot and fan, Sarah Sprague, stated that she's heard these rumors before and they proved false before. That's right Sarah, it is a conspiracy.

I wish this story could have some sort of moral or ending that tied up all the lose ends and explained why people like Sarah are still on the streets but it doesn't. I can't tell you that it is safe to trust green lizard-like aliens with bad grammar or fat guys that speak klingon but I will say this, if ever you doubt that all bets are off and that we live in a world without rhyme or reason, realize that these 11 people somehow are capable of reproducing (in a human sense - not in some funky star trek fashion). If you can explain that then you've done more to explain the universe than you could by trying to explain why 11 people are waiting outside a movie theater for over a month for a movie that isn't going to be playing at that theater.